preparing for two

We're on the homestretch with this pregnancy.  I had my 37 week appointment today (technically I'm 37 weeks and 2 days, but who's counting?) which means I'm officially full term.  The nurse informed me that if I were to go into labor now, they wouldn't try to stop it.  I'm fairly certain this little boy is trying to kick his way out of my stomach. The past couple weeks or so have had their rough moments - nausea, morning sickness, round ligament pain, tiredness in general, and a corneal ulcer that is probably not pregnancy related but painful nonetheless.  I feel like I get more uncomfortable every day which makes me all the more eager to meet our new little one.  All right baby boy, we're ready for you!

We're over the moon excited to meet this little guy.  I keep asking Josh dumb questions - "What do you think he'll look like?" or "Do you think he's going to be cute?"  Every time I'm having a particularly rough day with pregnancy I always say to Josh "I sure hope this baby is cute" to which he replies "I sure hope this baby is healthy."  I obviously want that, but is it too much to hope for a cute baby too?

I think Maddie is getting excited - it's a little hard to tell.  She somehow has come up with the idea that I'm having a girl.  I showed her some of baby brother's clothes the other day and asked her who they were for and she said "baby sister" without blinking an eye.  She also has named her little brother "baby Hannah."  We have absolutely no clue where this came from because I'm pretty sure she has never heard the name Hannah in her life.  Either way, I'm hoping she's not disappointed.  Josh thought maybe she was inspired and that we were having another girl.  I don't think so.  I'm already so in love with this little boy that I can't imagine anything different.

As these last few days/weeks pass by I'm filled with so many mixed emotions.  I cannot wait to have our little guy here, but I'm so in love with my baby girl and cherish our relationship with just the two of us.  How can I balance two and split my heart between them? I have to keep reminding myself that so many have done this before and I hope to be able to do it again and that the relationship Maddie and our little boy will have will be one of the sweetest parts of motherhood.  I know Maddie with be a darling and doting and protective big sister and I'm excited for our family to grow once more.

I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself with excitement- I still have a few weeks till I hit the 40 week mark.  Maybe baby brother has decided to wait until we decide on a name.  If that's the case I may be pregnant forever which I'm not so sure I can handle, so here's to hoping my next post is filled with photos of our new family of four!